I used to be very much against post-irony, but since I'm reading Chuck Tingle's books for the plot now, I guess that part of my personality went out the window.
I genuinely never read the original Peter Pan before and thought I might give it a go to see what I missed as a kid.
I missed to witness the adventures of an abusive, manipulative and terminally sad psychopathic child gaslighting his friends, taking advantage of a little girl's affection and murdering people for shits and giggles whilst a handsome, cultured and depressed motherfucker named Hook, who is my spirit animal if nothing else, suffers his way through anxiety issues and the eternal aftermath of his societal downfall whereas admirably managing to not descent into madness like everyone else around him.
My lame take on Suspiria 2018 after having re-read "Against Interpretation":
This is very much an anti-allegorical movie, isn't it? Dr. Klemperer lived through WWII and knows how euphemisms work in favor of oppressors (he even says so in the police station), but faced with a patient bluntly telling him she's being hunted down by a coven and evidence for her point of view is piling up, he still goes for an allegorical approach and interprets the shit out of his patient's "hallucinations" when what is going on is plainly and directly available to him through her diary. The film is so much against subtext that even the witches tell Klemperer into his face that his main flaw is that he prefers to read things allegorically or metaphorically while the movie almost never does. The dances do not represent spells, they are spells. Mother Markos' followers have their heads exploded for believing her to be a re-incarnation of an allegorical figure that decides to show up and make clear how very literal she is.
I even think it does the film a disservice to follow many critics' assumption that this is 'about' something like betrayal between women of different social status. If we cast aside the idea of the Berlin Wall and the RAF as hackneyed metaphors, they instead become the exact environment in which the coven can flourish because the world is busy with other things. "They've been underground since the war" is not so much a reference to reblossoming fascism but more to the blossoming German art and dance scene that is referenced in the movie through nothing but posters and Swinton taking hints from Pina Bausch and, I assume, a good portion of Abramovic otherwise. Gender is strictly and openly a performative thing throughout the entire film and the psychological dependence of the dancers on their instructors isn't so much metaphorical as it is an actual 2011 Wim Wenders documentary.
This is so different from the first movie, which goes all the way "open for interpretation", and my guess is that the idea behind this is that the target audience of "Suspiria 2018" has seen the original film and the reveal of the dance instructors being witches won't come as a surprise for them, so the creative leads of the remake just inverted the thin plot: Let's make the allegory literal, and make it all about the idea of literal witches living in literal Berlin casting literal spells through dancing, and have the reveal be that none of this is open for interpretation. Put in a vagina dentata for good measure. This is mirrored perfectly in the super-precise filmmaking and muted color palette and just the exactitude of the edit.
(I'm very aware I just interpreted a lot of stuff after having read an essay saying that interpretation is the intellectual's revenge on art.)
The only part of the film I completely disliked was the final meetup between Mother Suspiriorum and Klemperer in which she tells him about his wife's death and how she wasn't afraid and thought only of him 'cause true love and hope. That's such a Hollywood thing to say and it is so incredibly odd especially in a movie like this. Suspiriorum is revealed as an unusually kind being (minus head explosions), but her kindness can't retroactively change a bleak, terrible death in Theresienstadt.
Other than that, thumbs up and I'm off to fanfiction.org to search for some Madame Blanc/Susie Bannion slash fics.
EDIT: Oh my God I found the one fetish no one has written anything about. I went out of my way and even searched through Wattpad. There is nothing, nothing, I'm shocked.
EDIT 2: Oh, also Dakota Johnson's wig was very distracting since it was so obviously a wig. I mean, nice foreshadowing with the red hair = witch thing, but still.
Nerdy shit I won't care about in a week, but do so now:
1 - If they hadn't cast Danny Glover as the protagonist of Predator 2, that film might have been the most racist film since Birth of a Nation.
2 - It's uncanny how obviously the Borg were inspired by the Cenobites from Hellraiser and how the Hellraiser franchise acknowledged that and paid back the compliment in its third iteration and how much every clickbait article about the top ten worst Cenobites throws so much shade at these Techno-bytes because I unabashedly love them.
3 - The Sokal affair is only a powerful means for the destruction of postmodernism for people who haven't looked into postmodernism or the Sokal affair.
If someone ever wanted to display petite bourgeoisie in a zoo, the whole exhibit would comprise of people discussing tableware.
Very late to the party, I finally heard about and watched The strange thing about the Johnsons. Maybe it's because I'm a terrible person or because the acting was so stiff or because I'm used to much, much more intense stuff (thanks Ubuweb!), but I laughed for half the time and was kinda bored at the other half and now I have trouble feeling bad about that and should I even? I'm not very good at the suspension-of-disbelief thing and never was.
This just feels like a rebellious film student's attempt to make something a little more out there than usual. Furthermore, this was a reaction-video-worthy film? 2011, what innocent times.
The film certainly is not a catastrophe, but sadly hasn't much to offer except for its premise, at least for me. I read Malcolm Harris' take on the movie and he sees something valid and important in the film I really didn't, so I might be wrong. Or people come from different points in life and therefore see different things in artistic production.
Other than that, it is always amusing to see how filmmakers imagine writers' lifes.
Donut County says more about the current state of the US than any New York Times non-fiction bestseller reiterating the point that the current POTUS is quite not great.
I wish I had as much going on as the color red in We need to talk about Kevin.
They Live is an effing brilliant movie about a guy catching a glimpse on privilege and inequality, then believing himself to be starring in an action film and relentlessly shooting at the privilege-havers, beautifully oblivious to the idea that the aliens aren't the main problem in 1988's hypercapitalist Los Angeles and maybe also just wanna go to a grocery store, buy a magazine and get a perm like everybody else because "Consume, marry and reproduce" is also kinda their motto. They see those ads 24/7 without obfuscation, after all.
Also, I can see why antisemites dig this movie. It's because they're dumb and they think the movie is just as dumb.
Second worst habit: Incessant quoting.
Worst habit: Incessant quoting of shit you haven't read.
Most of contemporary German cinema consists of Nazi or GDR schmalz and terrible gross-out comedies that peaked in the US around 2001. Sure, language-wise you have Haneke and Seidl, but Austria is a whole ‘nother story. And then there are the Reding brothers making actual movies with interesting perspectives on the German psyche and no one ever watched any of these films, but rest assured everybody knows f*cking Combat Girls. Oi!Warning was almost exclusively available through piracy for a good while, and man, we all need access to b/w films about punks and skinheads making out in the mud or white German rappers playing journeymen.
I've been sad and tired in my life, but never "Peter Jackson in behind the scenes footage of The Hobbit reminsicing his artictic integrity" sad and tired. Holy moly.
Who'd have thought that the hardest artist to rip off base fanart on would be Linda Karshan? When I imagine showing her work to the average non-gallery-loving Joe, I expect an answer like "Huh, like, just straight lines? I could do that!" and then I imagine myself shouting "Yeah, good luck trying, asshole!" but I'd never actually scream in a gallery. Best case scenario is it's taken as an impromptu performance and god I'm bad at those.
The Disaster Artist sounds like a great film idea on paper, and then it's just five minutes of gratuitous meta exposition and far too many minutes of vicarious embarassment and Dave Franco's face covered in pubic hair, followed by another five to ten minutes of pointless re-enactments of a movie many things have been said about, but certainly not "no one could act like that". And that's not even mentioning that Tommy Wiseau is still alive and, if even remotely similar to James Franco's interpretation of his character, probably not in a mental state in which he can fully understand what is being done to him.
Random comparison: Yu-Gi-Oh! is kinda like Fight Club.
1) Fights/Duels are surrogate intimacy for people out of touch with acceptable human behaviour.
2) The Fight Club/Tournaments are realities, separate from that of grown-ups, in which every inner turmoil and outer conflict will be resolved through this surrogate intimacy.
3) The whole split personalities thing.
4) The decks/The fights are representations of the duelists'/fighters' worldview and personality, dictating twistedness and level of brutality.
5) It's hella gay, and the token female characters thrown in can do nothing about it.
1) Fight Club, sadly, has no "Heart of the Fist" motif, instead winners are irrelevant. Cop-out.
2) Yu-Gi-Oh! could definitely adopt the mandatory "no shirts allowed" rule.
3) Tyler (book version) is expected to come back as-is. Atemu only comes back temporarily when Konami smell cash they don't yet own and need to do something about it.
The Sexy Brutale was a good thing, then the directors decided that it needed the most basic, cookie-cutter, Shutter-Island-ripoff-y, tarot-card-psychology-heavy plot possible because it didn't mean something yet. Now it means that people (men?) cannot endure feelings like guilt except through forty years of violent puzzle game fantasies that look very silly and involve cutesy one-dimensonal burlesque characters, but are super-painful and brutal, believe me, they are. It turned the game into a tour de force about how the mere existence of an explanation can destroy something that otherwise could have been a solid piece of art. I wouldn't like to write an interpretation about something that spells out the very meaning of every polygon in painful detail already. It would be too hard not to write something insultingly condescending.
The parts of myself I am least proud of are also the parts I want to put online the most. So, welcome to this sentence. I'm not proud of it.
I Am A Hero has the best possible ending of any comic book series because it is unsatisfying, explains nothing and is inconclusive. I don't know many non-artistique comic books that dare to go there.
It's really hard to take a philosophy professor seriously after he emphasizes several times that "Batman kills at night", no matter how much you remind him that there's this universe thing and the code and timelines but you can't stress it too much because then you risk your colleagues believing you actually read that garbage. And then you let him have his point, which is based on the "killing at night" thing and all, but hey. Foucault based a whole lot of theories on Las Meninas, and those still work though he read the entire painting wrong. So maybe this man's theory will also survive the fact that Batman's characterization is completely off.
Fight Club is pure sublime gayness, made so surface-un-gay that a straight male audience can bear it and even mistake it for a proto-fascist men's rights cult movie/book instead of just a kinda clumsy gay Republican fantasy.
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